Monday, February 06, 2006
Marriage?
I've recently had some conversations with various people on the subject of marriage. They have ranged from extremely religious to quite the opposite.
I found it quite funny to hear many religous people admit openly that a main factor in their getting married was to have sex - and hence so many of them getting married between 18-22. If they jump into bed before marriage, they will receive a lot of flack from their follow worshipers ... a bit hypocritical when God himself is all forgiving.
Others get married when they feel "in love". Now, that's probably a lot better than the first, but when you get ingaged after only 6 months, do you really know?? The few long term relationships I've had has certain milestones. After 6 months, you are just getting a feel for who the person really is, as all the games played in the first few months start to dwindle and you stop trying to impress each other so much. Then, sometime between 1 yr and 1 1/2 yrs, all the little things that were extremely cute are now quite annoying. If you can get past these, then you start thinking about moving in and soon after, marriage ... in my opinion.
Now, that's not to say that it won't work if you don't follow any guidelines, but "logically" (i am male, afterall) it makes sense that you have a better chance if you wait. After all, if you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person, what's the big deal in getting married so fast.
Of course, the "what is love" came up a few times. I always thought you fall in and out of love without any control on your part. It's the feeling inside and all the things that you want to do and share with this person. Now, someone recently brought to my attention that love is "controllable". If you really want to be with someone, you can make yourself fall in love ... and rightfully, you can stop yourself from falling out of love. Now, if that is all true, then there is no point for me waiting for "the right women" because, apparently, it can be anyone i want it to be ... ?!?
But, as with religion and politics, it's one of those debates that has strong opposition no matter what side you are on. For now, I will just sit and wait for the right women to finish breaking up with / divorcing their current wrong partner for me to move in.
I found it quite funny to hear many religous people admit openly that a main factor in their getting married was to have sex - and hence so many of them getting married between 18-22. If they jump into bed before marriage, they will receive a lot of flack from their follow worshipers ... a bit hypocritical when God himself is all forgiving.
Others get married when they feel "in love". Now, that's probably a lot better than the first, but when you get ingaged after only 6 months, do you really know?? The few long term relationships I've had has certain milestones. After 6 months, you are just getting a feel for who the person really is, as all the games played in the first few months start to dwindle and you stop trying to impress each other so much. Then, sometime between 1 yr and 1 1/2 yrs, all the little things that were extremely cute are now quite annoying. If you can get past these, then you start thinking about moving in and soon after, marriage ... in my opinion.
Now, that's not to say that it won't work if you don't follow any guidelines, but "logically" (i am male, afterall) it makes sense that you have a better chance if you wait. After all, if you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person, what's the big deal in getting married so fast.
Of course, the "what is love" came up a few times. I always thought you fall in and out of love without any control on your part. It's the feeling inside and all the things that you want to do and share with this person. Now, someone recently brought to my attention that love is "controllable". If you really want to be with someone, you can make yourself fall in love ... and rightfully, you can stop yourself from falling out of love. Now, if that is all true, then there is no point for me waiting for "the right women" because, apparently, it can be anyone i want it to be ... ?!?
But, as with religion and politics, it's one of those debates that has strong opposition no matter what side you are on. For now, I will just sit and wait for the right women to finish breaking up with / divorcing their current wrong partner for me to move in.
# posted by AllCdnBoy @ 11:36 PM 
